Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

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2 scrubbers walk into a room , one says " can you you smell fresh-air spray"?

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yo mamas like a spider always getting wrapped up in her own cu*

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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You wanna know what sucks about your face? . . Everything.

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

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I friended Paul Walker on Xbox, but he's always in the Dashboard.

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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This, is indeed the funniest joke you will ever read, honest! "shows joke on written paper"

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What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

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roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

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What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

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Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

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Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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