3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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George W. Bush

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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