I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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whats young and never moved? still born baby

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Hitler is my role model

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Satan called. I put him on hold.

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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