What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Is Yered a dumbass? YA

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops