Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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P0P T4Rt

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Knock knock, come in.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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What did the snake say to the rat?

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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What's worse then finding out that your partner has AIDS? I don't know actually, but finding out would suck pretty bad...

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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The joke below me is retarded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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