Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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Arrow to the Knee

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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The AIDS patient was gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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