- Anti Joke

Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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