A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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69

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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