What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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69

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America

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Women's Rights.

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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