Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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PATHETIC

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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