A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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