What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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Enchilada

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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Knock knock What

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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Why did the fat prick post on the internet? Because he was MorningAfterBoy

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops