Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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What is worse than getting the wrong haircut at a hair salon? A terrible shooting at your local Chuck-E-Cheese

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Why are anti-jokes so funny?

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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brett is a dick

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There?" "Sara" "Come in, we will have a cup of coffee in the good company of each other."

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After six days in prison, and the eight hours in court straight they finally randomly decided that I "acted in self defense" which I did, so I demanded recompensation for they locking me up and wasting my time... ...And hell if I did not get 12.000USD for it, not before they called me disrespectful and immoral, before I shut them the fuck up... ...""Earning" your respect wont pay my bills, while I am apparently the only one with balls here, what else can you say when you everybody else shuts the fuck up and sits down because the "alpha male" of your pack, yes you a grotesquely fat ass in a black dress and a gray womans wig smacks his little hammer on his desk... Judge my ass" Speaking of morals... "It is called sacrasm furfags" Nero: Did I mention that her boyfriend broke four fingers on his hand against my chest (supposedly it was a punch of some sort), then he countered my attack(?), as he skillfuly blocked both kicks with his face, as he fell down cried and pissed himself like the 52 year old "adult" he is? Then I broke both his knees with my heels and told him I would kill him too if he told the cops that I did so in self defense... In self defense of course... Drugs told my mother I was Satan, and that I would end up killing her the very day I was born... Little did I know back then, that whatever kind of angel dust she used then was right about me killing her... Now its her turn to climb up from the hell she sent me trough, except that I locked the gate at the end. I miss my real arm though, which she chopped right off me when I was six and offered it to God as tribute, then proceeded to beat the shit out of me with it it... That kinda felt nice compared to waterboarding and all the other shit she did to me, as for my father... Tried to break my neck because I was at my room studying when he caught me scratching my prosphetic arm which was a sin apparently, yes reader I literally killed my father too and you dont hear me whining about it. Nero: I had a custom prosphetic arm made, it wont pick up or hold shit, you can in fact crush your own fathers skull with a fist literally made of steel, even if you still cant believe its not real butter. Solvemedia: Politically correct, thumbs the fucks ups for the irony... Or the steel which I used in pure fear as my neck snapped and my legs went numb... Just a literal pain in the neck for the rest of my life though, and a nice memory...

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

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The WNBA

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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What's the capital of Thailand? The letter 'T'...

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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