What's 1+1? 4.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Golf.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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