Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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