Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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