Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Try it Yourself »

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The Blonde walked into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops