a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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I have no joke. u mad?

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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21

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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