America Votes

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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