What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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