The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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whats annoying and black? black people

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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