How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Caitlyn.

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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