A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The biggest joke in anti-joke are these two MOST FAVED What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. +17662 likes MOST HATED whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven -1714 dislikes GUESS WHAT : they are both jew jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

thumb_up thumb_down +26

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops