Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Canada

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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black people

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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what's worse then being dumped? NOTHING

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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What's worse than eating a piece of elephant shit? Eating two pieces of elephant shit.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Google it!

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ha.

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what did the pregnant black woman say to the white man I'm pregnant

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

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what did Barak Obama order at Dunking Donuts. a donut

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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