Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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69

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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GONNA

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Real jokes.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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Noah is Smart.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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