What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

The Mets win the World Series

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

balls in ya mouf

Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

Johnny just finished his pie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

wanna hear a joke? no

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

62

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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