roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -35

why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

thumb_up thumb_down -63

knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

thumb_up thumb_down +84

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

thumb_up thumb_down +62

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

thumb_up thumb_down +44

so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

theres a fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops