The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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