Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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say cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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