What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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hi

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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