your mum

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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