what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

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"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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Your mom is fat

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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