Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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wanna here a joke??? read below...

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

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I saw a shovel once.

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Here is a joke for you: minecraft -blarg

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YOLO.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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