Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Once upon a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a gay bird a gaybird

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

shea kisses a girl

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My life :(

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I once heard what I consider the best joke ever: But I am not telling it to you, because this is a the anti-joke section. Moral: You better find the secret "real jokes section" because its there, yeeeeeess yeeeeeeeeees of coursehahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Stephen Hawking raped your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops