What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

God wrote this joke.................................

What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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