How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

Skinny people fart less.

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

Heskey time.

Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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