What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Butt poop.

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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