Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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Hi

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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How do you fit four gays on a barstool? You turn it upside down

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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a man walks into a bar. he orders a single drink, enjoys it, and drives home feeling a bit tipsy, but he was still able to operate his vehicle without an accident or a criminal charge.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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David Silberberg is gay

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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