I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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I ponder

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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You're welcome!

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops