What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

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nick ya honkin of b.o m8

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

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Why did the child cry? It was beat up and thrown in a trashcan.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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brock has small hands for a small job

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why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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