A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

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what do mexicans like most. icecubes

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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your mum

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The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

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What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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