Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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A woman's opinion

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Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Penis.

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops