Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you heard the deaf guitarist? He's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops