Why did the black man cross the road? He had a job interview precisely 10 minutes after this event occurred.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

*knock knock "there's a door bell"

How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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