timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

ROSS G IS OBESE

Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

Obama

What's 5+7? Piccillo

There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

( o Y o )

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

Your mother

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

What's cold and icy? Ice

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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