What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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