Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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cory is gay

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

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how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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