what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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