Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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Hahahahahhaha...................................black people

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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The Mets win the World Series

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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