what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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penis

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The awkward when you said moment in your head.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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I love you.

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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